Thursday, February 28, 2008

Why Women Enjoy Sex With Married Men

By Vanessa Burton
Why? Why would a single (or even attached) woman chase after a married man when she knows that he's attached to another woman? Easy, it starts off because, as is the human condition, the food on someone else's plate always looks (and sometimes tastes) better than what you're having.

According to a study conducted by the University of Louisville, many women tend to engage in something the study referred to as "mate copying." In other words, such women tend to believe that if another woman is either after a man or with a man, there must be something he possesses that's worthy of pursuit.

It happens all the time. When I'm out with male friends, whether it be at a club or restaurant, the instant women think I'm with them, they begin flirting with said gentlemen like piranhas. Maybe it's because they assume that if a good-looking woman is with such a man, they need to prove that they're just as hot as her.

Maybe it's because these women love a challenge, drama, no strings, or even simply the thrill of sin. Whatever the case, many a woman has revealed that sex with attached men is usually incredible. Why? Because he's been eating chicken every day, and when these women give them a piece of their action, it's like feeding them duck a l'orange -- something exotic.

It's more exciting to be sneaky
Melanie, 28, who enjoys a high-position in a big corporation, admits that she had an affair with a married man who worked in her office. "The sex was awesome because we had to be careful all the time, so when I would end up holding onto a cabinet in the office supplies room while he penetrated me with quick thrusts during lunchtime, it would excite me like no other sex I've ever had."

She admits it was tons of fun, until the "relationship" starting moving from lust to emotion. "I began behaving like a possessive child and that's when I knew it was time to let go." But Melanie continued, "I knew many women who not only enjoyed lusty relationships with married men, they would take risks that I thought were simply immoral."

What did she think was immoral -- this woman who opted to bed a married man, with three little children no less? Well, her list ranged from having sex in the married couple's bed to engaging in unprotected sex.

It's all about competition
"John used to tell me about all the crazy things he and his wife used to do before they got married and had children," revealed Anna, 37. "So after hearing about all the adventurous sex they had, it made me want to show him what I was made of -- I wanted to give him that element of sexual excitement."

"We did it anywhere, anytime... until one of his wife's friends saw us and told his wife. Unfortunately, this only made me want him more. I guess my competitive streak took over and I wanted to win -- not him necessarily, I just wanted to win. Haven't you ever watched elimiDATE ? Do you really think the women are vying for the man?"

Nevertheless, John was clearly addicted to the sex that Anna bestowed upon him, what with her willingness to take it in any orifice and pleasure him in any way he requested. But she soon realized that even if her vagina had a little blue cape with an "S" on to it, she could never win this race.

"All the same," she admits, "I still talk about the sex that he and I had. It still gives me chills when I think about it."

That ring garners experience
Some women believe that married men have more sexual experience, as most are older and, because they've been making love to the same woman for quite a while, they have an adequate working knowledge of the female form.

"I've been dating attached men for about 10 years. They're the only men I date. I know it sounds terrible but since I never plan to marry, I'm not worried about bad karma," says business owner Sylvia, 39.

"It started out by accident. The man I was dating forgot to mention that he was married. I found out four months later by accident because he forgot to remove his wedding band one day. I didn't leave him, and anyway, he treated me like a princess more so after I found out."
When I asked if she loved that first married guy, Sylvia said, "Love? Yeah sure, for the moment. But he made me realize that I can never trust a man. So I'd rather know that he has a wife at home, rather than worry if he's going to cheat. And as well, I can come and go as I please, and he has absolutely no right to get jealous or possessive, and the second he tries to pull that crap, I walk."

"As for the sex," she continues, "it's wonderful. These guys are usually deprived or bored with their women, and I'm that exciting, ego-boosting element that they're looking for. And because they've harbored so many fantasies about sex that either their women wouldn't comply with or they would never want to do with her out of respect or fear, I provide that 'fantasy' component that they want so badly. Why would I ever give that up? After I come, they go. No rings, no strings. I'm cool with that."

More like downright cold if you ask me.

It's carnal
For some, however, sleeping with a married man isn't so great once he opts to leave his wife and start anew with the mistress. "When I first met Matthew, sparks flew, we just couldn't keep our hands off of each other," says Kim, 28, a real estate broker. "But we mistakenly thought we were in love and decided that we wanted to make our relationship permanent, so he left his wife. Little did either of us realize that the fantasy would fizzle the moment mundane elements of everyday life reared their ugly heads," she admits.

Suddenly, Matthew didn't seem as thrilling to be around, and he stopped treating her like the object of his every desire. "Sex with a married man has to remain that, just sex. Once we began a relationship, I became jealous -- after all, he cheated on his last woman. So I couldn't enjoy sleeping with him the way I used to. Needless to say, he ended up cheating on me with a woman at his office."

What's the deal?
So, women call men pigs and say that all men cheat, but it's not as though these men are sleeping with other men (that's a different article altogether). When any woman knowingly sleeps with a married man, even though I fully believe it's the married party's responsibility to remain faithful, it makes women just as swiny as their male counterparts. And don't even get me started on the amount of married women who spread themselves about.

Nevertheless, I can understand why the sex can be so great for and with attached men. But I believe that, for every man who would cheat on his woman with a vixen, there is a man out there who is content with the woman he's committed to. My advice? If you want to have an affair, meet your wife at a bar and act like strangers, then go to a seedy motel and get nasty while you ask for her name.

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